Life

Everything is okay.

I have so many half completed posts about various topics I’ve been planning to write about for months and months. When I sat down at my computer an hour ago, I planned to finish up one or two of them, but my head won’t let me focus. I don’t know if that’s because it’s 1.16am as I’m typing this, or if all my thoughts are taken up with other, more important things – maybe it’s both.

I won’t share too much here, but our family feels like it has been shaken a bit over the weekend. Everything is okay now, or at least on its way to being okay again. Now that it’s over, I feel like I’m supposed to be over all the emotion I was feeling while it was going on – but I’m not. There’s a horrible fear that hasn’t left me. I feel like a child: afraid even though I know it’s safe. With the exception of bouts of depression, I think I’ve cried more times this weekend than I have in the entire two years I’ve been with Chris. I’ve not slept well either, lying awake for long periods of time or tossing and turning. I feel quite a deep anxiety, yet I’m trying to tell myself to stop being ridiculous. Everything is okay.

Everything is okay.

Everything is okay.

Everything is okay.

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